Now, this retailer, oddly enough, is quite the effective marketer, due to her nationwide television adverts, traveling double-decker billboard bus, and tons of free press and huge buzz about her unique style, not to mention, her quite effective marketing techniques.

If you can manage to stomach it, examining her site shows quite a few offers, lead generation tools, sticky content and SO much more.  However, if you didn’t already know about LINGsCars.com – you’d probably be afraid to give her money, assuming you don’t have a seizure while trying to find the link you’re looking for.

The thumbnail doesn’t do the site justice… click the thumbnail to see the real site.  WARNING: If you have photosensitive epilepsy, click at your own risk! It’s THAT garish.

So, here’s how Ling’s site is a great example of things NOT to do.

1. Ow! My Eyes! Other than the potential side effects for the epileptic, that site just plain old HURTs to look at.  If you want people to hang out on your site and do things (like give you money) it has to be easy enough on the eyes to let them feel comfortable doing so.  After looking around on that site for a few minutes, my retinas had a burned-in image of all those garish flashing colors.
2. Where do I click? Let’s pretend I really WANT to give Ling my money?  Where do I click for that?  There’s a gazillion links on that page.  How long do I search to find what I want?  What’s a link?  What’s NOT a link?!

Other than that, though… it’s quite a piece of work.  Testimonials, free-live support, consumer information, contact info… it’s all there.  ALLL there… and ALL on the home page. 

You tell me!  If you did a search on Google to buy a car and found this site, without ever hearing about them before…  How would YOU react to this web site?

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Working long, long, hours in Orlando for the past 3 months or so, it wasn’t until very recently, I even spent a moment (not asleep) at the hotel.  When I did, I was studying, or programming, or something similarly productive.

If you’ve been working with me on the marketing front for any length of time, you’ve noticed I constantly mention how the most effective marketing motivator (for adults) is sex.  If you can find a way to squeeze sex into your marketing message, you’ll suddenly find customers.  To summarize, "sex sells".

Here’s why…

To be technical, sex is an "emotional motivator", along with fear, love, greed, and spirituality.  People buy because they are motivated to buy and these emotional motivators are at the core of this motivation.  For example, in the IT industry, the most successful sales reps for hardware, software, consulting, and outsourcing are women — notably, hot women.  Why?  Well, frankly it’s actually kind of sick, but to quote a notorious sicko, "It is what it is."  What I mean is, you don’t have to judge them as right or wrong, just realize that the horny old men in charge of IT dollars are simply looking for a little company.  Some of these sickos go so far as to impose "favors" in exchange for business.  Some male sales reps succeed by outsourcing the association of sex and their product by taking prospects to strip clubs, or providing for other forms of entertainment which fit that bill.  Regardless, it’s there, it’s pervasive, and it’s probably not going to go anywhere, despite my or your distaste for that reality.

Sexy Marketing

A few nights ago, I took a break and watched a little (gasp) television.  The ads I saw while flipping through the 50+ channels astounded me, not because the concept was new, but just how basal and absurd the link between the product and sex was. Regardless, they managed to squeeze a little sex appeal into an Arby’s commercial:

Now, the Arby’s spot is not as over-the-top as the Carl’s Jr commercial for the spicy BBQ burger featuring Paris Hilton from 2005:

Paris Hilton is nearly naked, writhing around in various provocative positions, covered in sudsy water which appears to be fairly cold.  At one point, Paris chomps into a token burger, but then proceeds to writhe around some more, cover herself in suds, completely bend over (I think that’s the “downward facing dog” Yoga position, if I’m not mistaken) and a few other things.  Luckily we didn’t have to actually hear her talk or anything, or have some voice-over ruin the fantasy… but what the hell does that have to do with a hamburger? Oh yeah, "It’s hot."  OMG!  That’s just sad.  However, the news around this ad created gazillions in free promotion for Carl’s Jr.  And here, 3 years after the ad was banned, it’s still virally floating around the internet.   Carl’s Jr. created a web site a few weeks after the ad was banned and the thing got so much traffic that it crashed again and again and again.  If advertising is about impressions and if impressions create customer momentum – there’s so serious momentum being generated here.

Another commercial I saw recently (can’t find it on YouTube) is for TVLand evening programming, or Nick at Night or something like that.  It features a married couple who, through perspective shots ala Austin Powers are engaged in a variety of provocative situations:

• The man opens a refrigerator, spouse in the background with two melons visible over her chest.
• The man, reclined on the sofa, hands folded behind his head, sits with a smug grin as his wife strokes a 2 liter bottle of soda, conveniently placed over his pants.
• He stands up and stretches, she tilts the bottle over a bit creating unmistakable phallic imagery.
• She goes over to the television, and leans over to form a perfect right angle, the man slightly behind (and nearer the camera than) her lifts the remote and pushes it forward toward her posterior.
• The narrator says something like, "we know what YOU want… to grab hold of your remote and watch TV with blah blah’s evening lineup."

THEIR message was actually almost related – get your spouse, go to the sofa, and relax together with our programming… maybe you’ll get lucky.

If you can find a way to harness the power of sex in your marketing, you’ll make a splash.  It doesn’t have to be vulgar, or over the top.  But, it’s amazing how powerful it can be.

Next up, "fear" — or why you need an alarm system, life insurance, baby gates, a fence around your pool, and absolutely MUST get your children’s fingerprints taken and sent to the FBI.

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